We, as the 3 LCpls at MATSG , need to not be winded up too tight.

Okay, so what SSgt asked if Magic said “53” instead of “23”, it was probably a joke, or SSgt is uptight because of court.

Okay, so I accidentally left the sign in sheets in my car. When you have to check these students in from 6am to 9pm on the weekend you’re going to LOVE carrying this bright ass yellow folder around. The students don’t even care, you know why? Because the people who proposed this restriction don’t even know the TIMES NOR do they even know what things the students should sign. 

Holy fuck, it wasent stupid of me. I didnt even have my car today. LT I forgot you were on leave yesterday, which I DID bring in the folder, but then I realized I had to sign these fuckers in again at 2100 so why would I open up shop just so they could sign it? 

I usually go home, change over, and have them sign the stuff at the shop, through my car window. JESUS CHRIST. 

And I gave it Vero because Chris would be at the bowling alley, Id be at school and youd HAVE to come home eventually, after that you’d NEED to go back at 2100 . 

Tomorrow SSgt will probably come in upset because of yesterday, all the Sgts will be on deck, not to mention their moving into our shop. Oh my lord, we’re making this harder then it has to be. 

Id rather be harassed in the Real Fleet by Fleet Marines then people who are just plain pissy. 

Goddamn Marine Corps. 2016 hurry the fuck up.

You know what I hate? When Im drowning in my thoughts and I can’t seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel. When I spill my guts to the world but then Im told “Its no body’s business to know what goes on”. You know who knows whats going on? Me, you and Low. I cant talk to my family because no body knows —— I have no one to turn to here. I wish I could be so wrapped up in my own life that i can forget that Im a person who needs to interact with others. I wish my command was filled with likable women who wouldn’t mind socializing with me.  

Unfortunately, theres only 3:

1 Sgt who is, well a Sgt. Shes much older then me and its not like we can “hang-out”.

1 Cpl, who is a soon to be Sgt but shes leaving and I really didnt like her at first. So no…

And other Sgt who just recently had her baby. Same conditions as the first one. They’re both cool but, its different. 

I can’t fraternize with students because, well, theyre students and Im permanent personnel.  I could get NJP’d for doing so. Theres only a handful of MARINES on this base and the possible ones are not in reach.

Theres a new Cpl but shell be a Sgt soon. Ill show her around but at the end of the day she has other responsibilities, like her daughter.

Thats another thing on this base that separates me from anyone. 

I dont  have children.

I dont want children.

Its like a club: everyone here has a baby. Im the ONLY person at my unit who does not have one- thats a fact. 

There are things I cant relate to. They speak of stuff for their infant, they worry about their child(ren) and here I am without any.

I would love to go out, but the only decent spouse is worried about her kid (co-workers wife).

Its not even the women, the female/male ration is ridiculous. Even on a Navy base, the majority is male.

I dont put myself in bad situations. I know bad decisions make great stories, but not in this case. 

Not only am I isolated, but when Im surrounded by people, I feel out of place. 

I decided to involve myself in school. Ive taken a couple class’s and have enrolled for Summer I and will sit down with a career planner for Summer II. 

Why have I not involved myself in any sporty activity? Because Im not that type of girl. I don’t want to join a soccer or soft ball team. Id have to be with people I don’t know, not only that, Id rather kick back and relax with someone here. I already joined the Corps and got ship wrecked on this Navy base. 

Theres a sense of pride when being surrounded by Marines. Being on this Navy base and being the minority is a really big sense of pride killer. I joined for a sense of purpose, and now I lost it. I thought once I reached the “Fleet”, things would get better. Well apparently this ain’t it. Ill be here for my entire enlistment and I wont remember what it was like to be a MARINE. 

So to be blunt, my “sense of purpose/pride” is dwindling down. What am I even doing anymore? Im just going through the motions.

I wake up, go to work, attend school, go home, and then what? 

Work has gotten easier but I still feel like a POS because Im missing out on so much more! I hope that this new Cpl can teach me as much as I can learn being here. Ive had shitty leaders and the main one being in my MOS, I will not be a reflection of him. 

Moving on. 

I dont want to be here any more. Until things liven up for me, I’ll be counting down until I EAS. Ill have a lot saved and Ill be finished with school. After that I plan on living under a rock for about a year to maybe come back as an officer. 

Or just go live a little with Loany. 

Until then Im here, at the bowling alley. Ive been sitting in this corner for the last hour or so, typing away on this keyboard. I look around at these people and all I see are strangers. I see a familiar person in the crowd but he’s too wrapped up in the crowd. 

I can always think on the bright side

-BRAND NEW vehicle will paid off this year

-I have my own crib

-I have my own $$

But wheres the fun if theres no one to praise you? No one to talk to? No one to share ideas with? Stay up late with? 

Low has her own life and Cali is a long way from home…

With my command, theres always a limit, never really a friend.

With this base, I ONLY know some of the “Navy” because of him. 

With Lemoore, I really know no one. 

Theres always a catch. 

Theres always loneliness in a crowded place…

What am I doing?…

I need some fulfillment in my life, or I might take a lovely stroll off a cliff.

Either that or someone to constantly entertain me. By entertain I mean stick like glue. 

I was always told “communication is key.”

Maybe its me, but everyone who I seem to care about, I lack this “communicating” bone that everyone else seems to have.

Remember when talking about nothing until the next morning use to be fun? What happened to that?

The thing is, i can’t figure it out.